Be brightened. PART 1

thou mournful requiem has been sung for hundred of times,

even though the deceased has been kept in a ghoulishly rectangular corpse holder,
thou art as a murderer are still violently beautiful.

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"look at her! " Ictinike said in astonishment,
"such a beautiful waste.." he added.

"Oh your eyes knows how to tricks you, this is the body who consumed evil to stay alive, named Succubus!
don't you know her?!" yelled Lucifer,

"I was in err u bitch, so tell me who was she?" Ictinike asked.

"before the sun rosed, I saw her in the midst of hell,
 torturing parts of an unfortunate lad,
 blood was everywhere,
 this sick cunt slept with the lad's heart in her hand,"  interrupt Belial, who are the infamous demon of lies.

"bravo my brother, for the first time, you did not lie to us, truth has been told Ictinike," Lucifer said.
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oh the angel of bottomless pit, here I am,
I beseech thee to take me away,
let me be one of your deceased prey,
before they waylay the sickest pray.

Caraphernelia.

- fucking annoying -

So, I've taken some quizzes in Google. this is what it says. and I added something somehow. cliche huh.
lots of people don't seem to quite understand me. especially people who are very dear to me.
erm..Nope.

This is very me.

Ruthless character, carefully weighing her decisions in critical situations, with excellent self-control
and strong will. Such people are generally liked, but not always loved.
Not always laugh, but always smile.
Can't really be predicted.
I like to hide my real feelings, I like to be seen as the bad one to protect people that I LOVE or CARE.
I like to provoke people.
I must show people how strong I am, mentally and physically. except, I'm not.
I never cry except if there's a death of people that I love, or I found out that my siblings or my parent deceived me.
Gimme bunch of shits, i'll throw it back to ya,
Gimme bunch of bitches, i'll cut their mouth and slit their throat.
My lesson is to combat violence and disharmony in our world.



I love being around people, and I am deeply committed to my friends.
I am also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority.
Incredibly perceptive, I can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
I use lots of colorful language and expressions. I'm quite the storyteller despite that i'm quite a stutter lol!

In love, i am quite the charmer. And I definitely willing to risk my heart.
I often don't follow through with my flirting or professed feelings. I break a lot of hearts.

I just always seem to enjoy what I do.
I would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How I see myself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get me, they see me as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused
I'm quite rebellious, and I don't like being told what to do. I like to do things your way.
I have my own unique style, taste in music, and outlook on life.


My personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

I am quite Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving

Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum to all of you guys out there, I know its kinda late to wish Selamat  Berpuasa to you but at least I said it okay? :3


hehe I did this video a day before ramadhan but im one of a lazy biatch so I uploaded it today.I know i look fat. I AM FAT :P and i don't care bout it hohoho
well, as for Muslims, this month is a fasting month for all of yer who've already Baligh.Wajib PUASA tahu tak, kecuali bagi para wanita yang dimana mereka ada flag merah.Sebulan je pun.. apa susah sangat kan?Kita patut hormat bulan puasa okengg? :3 ni je la kot, pagipai nanti baru update, nak pergi sahur sikalang :3

Memory

- fucking annoying -

The thought of him,abruptly aggravating my head.
Explicit memories rushing through my mind.
I saw a picture, it was all painted in dark scarlet,
there was a deep black hole
in the middle of the painted wounded woman's body.
it was me, in agony.
I saw him, savoring my bleeding heart.
It reminds me..of a

memory,

Within seconds he came and utter the words "would you be mine?",

Within seconds he go away and never bother to say goodbye,

Everything changes within seconds.

Astoundingly, I felt nothing. I felt nothing for it.

I beseeched him to stay,but in abhorrence he gazed away.
I had been told to sacrifice things for a precious deal.
A memory.

Yes,
I was an imbecile.

Memory,
what a memory

A memoir it had be.

Murderer or mister of my heart, 
I know I'd rather meet the blow, 
Of my most unrelenting foe, 
Murmuring in mine ear a song, 
Once loved, alas! forgotten long, 
And on my brow I feel a kiss, 
That I would rather die than miss..


and there it is,
lay on the ground,
a picture of memory..

KUANTAN :DD

- fucking annoying -

okay, so my band, Lakes and Snadders, [ you can check us out here : http://www.facebook.com/lakesand ]
had an invitation to play at Shalien Studio, Taman Tas, Kuantan.
yeap, the event was on 25/6/11, that was last Saturday,
And I was tooooooooottaallleyhh excited bout itttttt.

Emir, Fazi, Khalaf ,Haikal and I went there by busss,
you know, if we went there by car,
a lil bit of high maintenance, the tolssss, the minyakks and all.. and what if there'll be an accident or shits like that. and what if we..,(saw ghost?!)
okay, not that you guys care bout it. x)

sooo we took the bus at 10.45 pm, SANI EXPRESS of course safety and COOOLLDDDD.
and we arrived at 4.30 a.m
fazi and khalaf, the most noisy people in that bus.. till this makcik grinning at them, she's angry I can tell, she scold them and said "Ni bukan tempat jamming, nak bising bising pergi lah tempat lain"
well, i was dozing at that time, but i still can hear that makcik and and those bitches babbling at each other. LOLERS.
and because of that, me and emir can't sleep properly..so the conclusion is, we did not sleep at all. ==
thanks to raredollz and amy kamarzaman and one of his friend, coz meeting us and took us to the studio.
there was so much excitement ahead of us despite of the knackeredness lol.

so, the event started at 2.30 something, and we are the fourth band to play.
first, we present the crowds with our new single "Now I claim your sun" and then SWING for the last time and then Clarity arises.

THIS WAS OUR 3RD GIG, and I never, ever expect that the crowds in Kuantan are likely to accept us
you know what i mean like, they fucking head banging to our songs ! and iii can't believe itttt
and this is our first time to NOT to play an OPENING to an event like this. so jyearghh
and i think WE enjoyed ittt, A LOT ! to meet new crowds, new bands new members and all.

FAZI NASHRIQ 

you see what i mean yaww

ahhh

the crowds are soo supportive we love you guysss

Diary for my ex and us :)

and after that, we stayed for a few bands, like V.S.T.M ,M.B.F and  i can't remember..
 some of the pictures were taken, there's lot of em, but you can see it in my album at facebook, of course :)

my hair's sucks, so i always use my hand to cover the suckiness haha

MYSPACE'S SHOT!

and yeah, some "selingan" before we rode the bus. XD hahaha
seriously, if we had the chance, we want to perform there again, but of course, with huge amount of benjamin in our hand and a CAR  :3
aaanddd one thing, I didnt shower yet. :P. HAHAHAHAHHA gooodddbyeee ya'll, will updating some more memorable events these pass few daysss coz I WANT TO TAKE MY EFFING SHOWER RIGHT NOW !! and thanks for reading this not-so-important-thing-to-you post :X till then buhbye

hhhhh

- fucking annoying -


You know you're my only one.
tho we're only been in relationship like what? 2 weeks?
buuuutt youu knoowww iii laaaiiikeeeee youuu siiinncceeee whhheeeennnnnnnnnnnn and
there's no word to describe how grateful I am to have you by my side.
Despite of my flaws and all those shits I've done,
you still encourage me to change my self to be a better person.
and I WILL be a better person.


i'm sorry if i'm not the best for you,
coz i know that i'm not beautiful as the others, my thighs big as you can see, i'm boyish,
i really don't know how to love someone, and you know my mistakes that i've done in the past, but let bygones be bygones.
i'm really sorry if I've done something that make you hurt or make you feel annoying or boring.


when we meet, you knoww maybe i'm a lil bit quiet or laugh a lot that is because.. 
i'm quite shy actually when you're around.
i don't know what we should talk, i just want to stare at your face
and hear you laugh your voice when you're telling me things or stories, and smile, I KNOW IT'S NOT LOGICAL to stare at your face ALL THE TIME,
but you understannddd xD hahahaa
and that is because i know that i will never met anyone else like you. :)


i know "I love you, is not enough"
but there's no other words that i can say better than that,
I really love you and I never want to lose you.I meant every word that I say m.hanif. :')


AGAIN, I'M REALLLLYY SORRY IF I AM A BORING PERSON ! :'3 


My heart’s a stereo,It beats for you, so listen close,Hear my thoughts in every note


and and, i'm scared/shy to tell you directly, so I just write this here.. sorry again .___.

i love you very the much !

- fucking annoying -

i thanked god that i met him :)

baby :)

- fucking annoying -

thanks for yesterday and the gift,I really didnt expect that.
i am missing you already when you went back home although we've already spending the time together for quite a moment there. :')
and yesterday was really awesome and it is one of the best memories i've ever had x)

hope to see you soon love <3

:')

xD one of me mates said that he's christopher drew and im alexia O_O

<3 

candid ==

i tak nak makan boleh? :P

Iloveyou,Ireallydo <3

new attitude needed hmphh :[

- fucking annoying -

just can't let myself keep getting hurt right? so

1. ignore what people do, like if they say something or get mad at me. i'll just pretend to hear,but ignore it at      
    the same time : |.
2. this face : | <------------ gonna be really helpful x)  : |

hope? its so 1990's

- fucking annoying -
SELF.
I know I complain too much about my life.
I like to keep things to my self.
I don't like people to know my problems.
I tell the important parts only.
Sometimes, I want to fucking share about my problems, my happiness , whether i am sad or im happy or any feelings that i feel to person that i love and trust. but i can't coz they would not understand. Even if I tried to.
They won't.
They know my name, They know my Stories, but They don't know how i go through it..
i always listen to them even 1%, but i still listen.
but i just can't tell them 100% coz my life is too problematic and hectic to be heard.
how about talk to my mom, oh my sister how about my brother?
damn you,believe me, i tried, they don't understand and i'm tired.
they treat me like i am a fucking naive child.
_____________________________________

LOVE

well the next thing is,
 i'm gonna regret the decision that i've made and i will make from the first time.
things aren't will just stay like that. i bet no,
i fall in love once, twice, third and this is not the last time.
i hope he'll find another one who is much more better than me.
coz i know, i flunked in life. i'm a bad person and i deserved no better than a devil.

______________________

STUDIES

well, i flunked in this department too, i suck, i'm too stupid to get my brain to function
spm this year, still am a playful Elle. play much.
worthless for my parent : mom to spend those money to the home tutors.
really suck to be me. I surely want to be dead in my mothers stomach if i know how hectic my life is.
_________________