Saturday, June 2, 2018

Still am lonely

I think social media is harmful.
For me.

Now when looking at all those succesful persons’ pictures,
the person who got their dream jobs in hand,
those who are travelling the world,
Luxuries, social and freedom.

I feel tad bit of envy,
Sorry
I think a lot lot lot of jealousy.

I feel like I am out of purpose in this life.
So sad.
So so sad.

I am a person who really like to talk and mingle with people actually.
But with the life I am walking now,
I feel very less energetic than before.
I feel tired.

Not being able to do what I want to do and become.
Not being able to talk with my friends,
I actually dont have friends anymore.
You know, real friend(s) apart from my husband.
He does have his staffs ans business partner to talk with,
something that i dont have.
To do what I did last time
Not going out as often as before.. feel like really out of purpose.

I want to go and study but I am stuck.
Ive got no savings.
Those earnings that I had,
gone.

Currently I am doing baking. I know how to bake pavlovas and cheesecake.
With that, I am able to pay the bills and a few of musha’s needs.
Not that my husband doesnt help, dont get me wrong,
It’s just maybe not enough. For me.
But, last time, when I was working, I can buy almost anything for my self.
Self indulgence.

Ahhhh I really should be grateful.
Other’s dont even have shoes on their feet..
But this feeling comes naturally.
After all, I am just a mere human..

The thing isssssss
I DONT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT MY FEELINGS
AND I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK
BUT I DONT WANT ANYONE TO BE BURDENED BY IT
SO, blog thanks.