Saturday, October 29, 2011


- fucking annoying -

Abah, kalau abah masih ada di dunia ni,
adik tak mungkin jadi macam ini.
Penampar abah buat adik sedar.
Tangis abah buat adik sedar.
Senyum abah buat adik sedar.
Marah abah buat adik sedar.
Tawa abah buat adik sedar.

That you're everything to me.

Abah, adik rindu abah. sangat sangat.
Potret abah sentiasa adik tatap.
Moga jiwa mu aman disana.


- fucking annoying -

i understand it all alone is just enough.
there's no use to express this feelings.
if i say the truth, it's gonna hurt someone, same goes to lie.
fucking ironic.
what am i supposed to say then?
let me carry this burden myself coz i refuse to sink with you.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Suffocating at 2:58 a.m

- fucking annoying -

Today,weather decided to nourish the ground with its teardrops from Heaven.
the rain was easy at was..pleasant to have one
after a whole month we've been enslaved by the fervent sun.
It even persuaded the busiest man to secretly cheats on the time
and has the urge to reminiscence for a while of how extraordinary his life was,
Just for a little while he said.. just for a little while..but the clock's tick tock-ing.
and he's tired of paddling.


The weather decided to be a little bit mischievous.
dark clouds starting to obscure the sunlight,
accompanying them clouds, lightning in fearless bright,
ear-piercing thunderstorms unruly mastering the earth this time,
The rain aggressively hit the surface of the earth,ceaselessly with no rhyme.

Now, we wonder what is wrong with the weather?
Weather plays some trick, and abruptly all the mortals feel sick.

It was like, this weather knows and was preordained to unify with my feelings.
The feelings that I can't justify.

The surroundings,
it was vile,it was cold,it was bitter,it was dull.
felt like electric impulses pervaded into my veins,the frost bite so deep as it could penetrates into my skins.
it explores and injures every part it touched.
my bones, my brains, my lungs, my heart.
I felt the sting of the cold.
I felt very vulnerable and fragile and there was definitely no presence of bold.
it hurts. it fucking hurts.

I need warmth.. I long for the sun.
Where are you when I needed you Why are you running away from me?
When will you perceive that I couldn't go through the day without you Why are you hiding from me?
Sun, Sun, don't go away.
Your shimmering light is what that made me stay.


and yes, im suffocating.
yes, im out of breath.
This sudden change.. this sudden change made impact on me.
It made me strong,
Yes, it was bad memories,that won't slow me down.
I'll imagine it as a fucking fire that'll burn my spirit up, up to the sky.
It was pointless to give up.
I won't kneel and back down.
I'll stand up.
I'll rectify the gap between us, Sun.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I should've stopped caring.

- fucking annoying -

The more I care, the more people thinks that I'm actually an annoying lil bastard.
So yeah.. do whatever you want to do coz I don't fucking care anymore.
drown with the absurdity you go.
I won't be there to save you.
I won't anymore.

stick to this quote yeah?
to one to love is to have interest
no expectations no disappointments
just fucking care less coz they won't appreciate you.

just a qwertyuiop sadface.jpg feeling.

- fucking annoying -

oh no. i dont like this feelings.
it happened to me 1 year and 7 months ago.
and i tell you. its not a good one.
this feeling.. ugh i cant describe it.
i hate it. no. no more tears. no you cant. its not worth it.
you're a strong girl Dalilah. you have enough experience to handle this.
yeap. its not worth it. but fuck why?!
i hate to feel this lysosomes contained fluid on my cheek.
now shut up and study.
im happy. im a happy happy happy lil bird.
the world has bigger problem than you have so shush!

fuck im starting to feel that im going to mourn.
damn it.

lol chillax babe. you're okay. smile smile smile.

fuck why am i talking to myself and typing this shit?! qwedsfhkjm,af
goddamnit for godsake, why didnt you put your feelings first ?
instead of trying to make somebody else's happy but not you?
you're fucking useless dalilah. yeah you're a fucking waste of space and you suck big time.

you just need to chillax Dalilah.

*inhale exhale inhale exhale* fuh im alright.

*touch my entire face* nope. im not dead yet. 

im ALIVE and im going to do better for the next step.

yeahhh youu gooo girllllllll

goddamnit, you're one of a annoying alter ego you know that. get the hell out of me.

lol. chillax. im still you. :P

Molten cake anyone? muahahaha btw, im only going to online just for 2 days a week, that is only the on weekends. so yeah..

bastards are always bastards

- fucking annoying -

No one ever takes me seriously. Why? Why everyone is acting like that they are all right and never have the tendency to actually feel that sometimes they are actually wrong in the first place? I may be naive, immature and all that attitudes that an infant may have, childish or what so ever, but I have feelings too right? I once tried to be mature but I failed. Why? coz im not ready to face it yet coz why bother to look older than your age? being mature is no fun at all.
I should cherish my days of being young. there's time to be serious, there's time to be annoying, there's time to be fun, ridiculous or being an ass.

Back in the old days, someone burned my spirit to ashes. put a fucking petrol on it and set it on fire. he said : " You are so naive, you're too relying on me. Should be more mature " and then yadayadayadabullshitbullshitbullshit. I nearly broke down and cried, but nope. I dont give a flying fuck bout it now. I was still a kid back then, and that doesn't count.
But now, I am sure as hell, that the guy is the one who are too naive and dysfunctional to think about other's feelings. He's such a selfish soulless dick head. He should die in a car accident. naawhh. im joking.

If you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't fucking deserve me at my best.
I may not be so brilliant, and im not very good in starting a conversation, but the least that i can try is learn. that's how i roll. the more you observe,hear and practice, the more things that you would know.
I can be at this point where I can be extremely stupid sometime, especially when it comes to common sense. I noticed that and I'm improvise my self now. but then, somehow, somebody will always laugh and mock at me, as I am a joke to them. They who've laughed, instead of teaching me the right way, who abandoned me, leaves me in curiosity and ughh!! what goes around comes around you bastards!

I am the winner and always be the winner. thats my fucking oath. and they, they who've laughed at me,
will always be the one who are actually in rage. trollfacemodeon!
and one day, they will be crying on my knees.
begging for pardon with those remorseful eyes.
but then, no mercy will be given unless they've truly learned from their mistakes.


- fucking annoying -

They have their family with especially their dad. but I don't.
They have everything that they need, but I don't.
They have education that we all need. but I don't cause it's my fault for never appreciating the chances that once was given to me, It will always be my fault.
what else matter when you have everything that you want? i see.. you want more..
you envy and jealous of me coz I have this one thing : never everlasting enjoyable life.
seeing me hanging out every weekends and trolling with my friends can make my life any better. yeah?
See? you never try to look harder. You never see the bigger picture.
All that you could think of is just enjoy enjoy enjoy. till when?
and you don't even realize every fun thing have their own consequences.

you basically can find a friend or friends to share your sad or happy moments,
but do you even care to realize that, true friends are hard to find?
Those what you call friends always ask ask ask but never really care. they just curious.
You don't just share, but feel it. that's what true friends are.

You can enjoy and express yourself when you have this things:
Love, Education, REAL friends, good job and a LIFE. by life, i don't mean more than 100+ likes on facebook.
you see, when you have love, you're happy.
When you're happy, you won't feel disturbed when you are studying or shit.
and when you have education, you'll learn new things that you never expect.
and finally you will have a good damn job which lead you to money.
Don't tell me you can live without money.

and then, people will not dare to look down on you after all your achievements right?
they don't even dare to tell or spreading rumors and talk shit bout you that you're a monster, you're a failure, you're a living hell and such.

this is my theory. it's a circle way of life.
you won't always be up there and just wait for the stars to fall in your hands.
sometimes you have to get down there and look at the universe and try to figure out how to reach the stars.
invent something new.

You can't take life for granted.
Stop mumbling that I have a better life, but then, my life is more fucked up than you thought.
and there's someone out there that have worse life than me. just be grateful my dear friends..
Justttt, just stop grunting and appreciate everything okay?

Do you realize, that sometimes, I hate to be me?
Do you even realize that all my choices and decisions that I made had against me?
They haunt me for the rest of my life. you think this is absurd? wait till you've got punched in the face.
that's how i feel.
Do you like to miss your studies for a year and a half and suddenly came back to school again
and you have zero knowledge and there's hella much things that you've missed?

No. because you don't need to feel that way dear, you're lucky.

And just to be frank tho, we should think of our future although we might give bad impressions to some people, but people don't really know about us, true? So why bother? we can't please everybody?
So why give them the satisfactions, a flying fuck is what suits them. Yeah, I have piercings, bad attitudes and stuff but that doesnt mean I'm useless and my brain isnt functional.So lets face it, without education, you have nowhere to go. I'm not trying to say that I AM PERFECT. i'm stressing the hell out here and this is only the time that I could update things bout my life, for the weekends only.and a friend, I should warn you guys out there, education is very very important my friend. You should'nt take it for granted.

love is cheap in facebook

- fucking annoying -

i've seen this scene a lot in facebook.. i mean.. kids nowadays.. 
what did they actually think about love?
is it some kind of a joke for them? no it is not.
"heyy joom open relationship"
"ahh bosannye single.. couple jom! sesiapa?"
"ahh bosannye couple.. single lagi best! break ah!" padahal baru 3 hari tu.
baru jumpa kat facebook dah pandai mintak couple.
pandai mintak itu ini.
"hmm takde org nak kat aku.. aku ni kan buruk" and yaddda yadda yadda bulll shit bullhsit bullshit.
this is cheap.. so cheap.. 

Someone whom you adulate,
deceived you.
Someone whom you abominate,
actually wanting for your love.
Someone whom you defined as friend,
couldn't be any more care less about you.
Someone whom you thought foe,
actually concerned about you.

In this piteous world,
there's no love without lust.
thirst for money, thirst for women, thirst for sex. thirst for power.
that's why it is called pathetic. not the world, but the person.
Sympathy love, cheap love, just name it.
here, there's no single humankind considered to actually Love the Love.

In fact, there's no world full of vengeance, suicide and stress
if you hadn't lost your path in founding what it is actually about life and love.

you've lost and you've lose.
Your alter ego will be in control in the meanest way you can imagine.
though you never came across bout it,but it's actually a silent self killer who could kill brain button if you keep betraying your self.

the clock won't stop tick tock-ing.. tick tock tick tock tick tock
finally disappear the man who mock

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Truth about the phantom PART 1.

- fucking annoying -

The phantom effortlessly lies underground,
slowly exposing his vulnerable skeleton
that covered by his toneless pale skin under the bleak sky.
buried in undefined smile.
he became breathless soul once more.

wondering what would he do tomorrow.
what would he do?
He's just a lonely phantom,

Monday, October 17, 2011


- fucking annoying -

Risau sangat2.. kawan2 aku ada yang study ada yang tak.
aku pun nak kata study sangat tu tak lah. ikut kemampuan apa yang ada tapi at least aku try.
aku bukan nak bermegah ke apa, tapi bagi aku, biarlah orang pandang kita jahat atau hina mana tapi kita ada ilmu di dada yang boleh menjamin masa depan kita.
boleh buat mak bapak kakak abang adik kita bangga.
dengan sijil tu lah kita boleh mentransformasi diri dan mengubah persepsi orang terhadap kita
aku risau.

aku yang form 4 tak sekolah ni pun dah pucat lesi muka jantung berdegup tak henti tidur tak lena fikir pasal SPM.
so bagi korang yang bernasib baik boleh pergi sekolah, bersyukur lah okay. strive tak strive lah.
tak kira masalah ape pun bf/gf semua tolak tepi sekejap je pun.
28 hari je lagi.
pastu bebas.

soalan2 berformat SPM korang boleh download dekat sini: memang terbaik. dari negeri apa korang cakap lah semua ada.
selagi ada masa.. belajar.. tak tahu tanya cikgu jangan jadi bodoh sombong

last,aku nak mintak maaf dekat kawan2 ataupun sesiapa sahaja yang aku ada buat dosa
tulus ikhlas dari hujung rambut sehingga hujung kaki aku minta maaf.

tak lama lagi dah woi.